​​Experts say that the "big talk" about sex should come as early as 8 years old.

This topic is awkward and all parents need help with this subject. People tend to

avoid it and delay it and feel embarrassed and hesitant about it. Five popular tips

are to be aware of preemptive information, the family, correct principals, realism,

and to focus on making the conversation personal. The "birds and the bees" are all

facts, and don't explain enough.​ Will I say too much to soon? Probably not, there is

no evidence that says this should be a concern.

​

​

​

1. Preemptive Information: be aware of the media, the peer group, and the school will all play large (and mixed) roles. But parents with the right message and the right timing can preempt negative and harmful information. They can also create a positive frame of reference and an effective filter through which kids can interpret and internalize what is useful and helpful to them, and screen out or set aside what is harmful or dangerous.

​

​













​

​

​

​

2. Family: The hope (and the goal) of all parents is to maximize the

happiness and well-being of their children and help those children to

one day have happy families of their own. Sex is always approached in

this book as a matter of family. The ultimate danger of the misuse of sex

is the destruction of family, and the best use of sex is to strengthen the family.

​











​

3. Correct Principles: The most important principles that parents can

convey to their children are pointedly and practically taught as families

talk abut sex. Open communication, delayed gratification, and the effective

implementation of goals and plans are only a few of the principles that

parents can teach along with and as part of a positive approach to marriage

and sex.

​

​

​

​

​

4. Realism: Be aware of what is really going on and act accordingly. Movies and tv shows are rawer, cruder, colder, and sexual promiscuity has become common and acceptable. Sex has flooded our children's lives. They will hear about, it so all we can do is try to protect our children and prevent them from taking on these relaxed and naive views about promiscuity that could potentially be harmful. 





















​

​

​

​

​

​

5.  Focus on the Personal: There are three reasons on why it is hard to talk about sex: the embarrassment we recall about the subject and our own conscious and subconscious inhibitions, our lack of a plan or an agenda or a clear idea of what we ought to say and how we ought to say it, and our own ambiguity about what we ourselves believe about sex and what we want our children to believe. A parent who starts early and knows what he or she is doing can be the dominant influence, superseding and overwhelming all other voices. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be awkward and uncomfortable. If you do it the right time and in the right way, it can build a powerful and deep emotional bond between you and your child that facilitates other kinds of communication and trust

​

​

No parent needs to be an expert on sexuality to have meaningful conversations with their children, and every parent can share their values about sexuality, relationships, and respect for others.

​

​

​​Sometimes we just don't know:

As much as we would like to think that we know everything thing there is to know everything about sex and birth control methods, we don't. Most people only know of abstinence, condoms and pills. Truth be told, there are more than thirty birth control methods. Not only do we not know everything about birth control and all their side affects, but most of us don't know every STD, how each one can affect us, and or which ones are treatable/curable. We don't always know where to turn for help, so here is a list of some great resources!​

​​

​

More Guidance:

​

If you still need more guidence and want other opinions, these books are wonderful guides and easy reads. You can even have your kids read them if you don't think that you aren't explaining the topic well enough:

"Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Fostering Your Child’s Healthy Sexual Development in Today’s World"

by Beverly Engel

​

"Raising Sexually Healthy Children" by Lynn Leight

​

"Raising Your Children Conservatively in a Sexually Permissive World" by Sol and Judith Gordon

​

"Sex is not a Four Letter Word" by Patricia Martens Miller

​

"Straight from the Heart: How to Talk to Your Teenager about Love and Sex" by Carol Cassell

​

"Talking with Your Child about Sex" by Mary Calderone.