​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Parents often underestimate how sexually active teens are. 7 out of 10 teens have sex before the age of 19, 2 thousand teen girls get pregnant in the U.S. every day, and teens have high rates of STDs. Each year in the United States nearly 750,000 teens experience pregnancy, mostly unintentionally. You can make a huge difference in your kids’ lives by building a strong relationship with them and set clear boundaries for them to help ensure for responsible decision making.







 

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Tips on how to answer your teen's questions

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1. Try to find out what is really being asked. What seems like a straightforward question might not be. To find out the true nature of the question, we might ask, “What have you heard about that?” “What do you think about that?” or “Can you tell me what you already know about that?”

2. Don’t answer with too much information. We can keep answers short and simple and explain new words that our children might not have heard before. After giving an answer, we might encourage our kids to ask us follow-up questions by asking, “Is there anything else you would like to know?”

3. Check their understanding. After answering a question, we can ask, “Does that answer your question?”

 

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1. Educate yourself about the specifics of contraception and STIs. Learn about contraception, including

emergency contraception, and about condoms. Learn how contraceptives work, the cost of various methods,

side effects, pros and cons of each method, and where teens can go for information and services. Learn also

about STIs—gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, and HIV—including ways they are transmitted, symptoms,

risks, and treatment options. Visit our page "Sex Education for Parents" from the Parents webpage to learn more.

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2. Carefully explain your own feelings and values about sexual intercourse and contraceptive use. Include personal

memories and values. Values that are related to contraceptive and condom use include respect for self and

partner, responsibility, and trust. Other values pertinent to discussing contraception may include, but are not

limited to, those related to life, children, and future aspirations.

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3. Listen. Only by listening to your teen's feelings and values will you understand how he/she approaches decisions,

including sexual decisions. When you understand your teen's values, you can ask questions that help the teen clarify how to act consistently with those values. For example, a teen might say, "I believe that too many children need homes and there are too many people in the world." This is an opportunity to ask what actions related to preventing pregnancy would be consistent with that value.

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4. Avoid assumptions

-Do not assume that your teen knows everything he/she needs to know about contraception and condoms. Assure your teen that knowledge is power and that you want him/her to have the power that comes from knowledge.Assure your teen that you will not make assumptions based on the teen's questions or concerns.

-Do not make assumptions about the teen's sexual orientation or about his/her sexual behavior based on that orientation.

-Do not assume that there is only one kind of sexual intercourse. Many teens are having oral and/or anal intercourse, believing that this is not "sex." Be clear with your teen that all these types of intercourse are sexual intercourse and are behaviors that necessitate protection.

-Encourage your teen to take RESPONSIBILITY for her/his personal sexual and reproductive health needs. Provide support so teens can make and keep appointments for annual medical exams and other needed health care.





























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How to set boundaries for teens

​Many teens resist when we want to know what they're doing because they are at a stage in life when independence becomes very important to them. But most teens will listen to their parents and try to stick to the rules if they have a strong relationship. We should let our teens know that we want what is best for them. It may help to read more about having good parent-teen relationships. Balance is key. We don’t want to smother our teens by insisting on knowing everything they do. But if they are going out for a couple of hours, we should know where they are going, who they’re with, what they’ll be doing together, and when they’ll be home.The ways in which we monitor and supervise our kids usually depends on our parenting style. Some of us are very strict. Some of us allow our teens to have too much independence. Our parenting style depends on our life circumstances, family culture, and values.









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REMEMBER:

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• There are three reasons on why it is hard to talk about sex: the embarrassment we recall about the subject and our own conscious and subconscious inhibitions, our lack of a plan or an agenda or a clear idea of what we ought to say and how we ought to say it, and our own ambiguity about what we ourselves believe about sex and what we want our children to believe.
• A parent who starts early and knows what he or she is doing can be the dominant influence,

​superseding and overwhelming all other voices.

• Talking about sex doesn’t have to be awkward and uncomfortable. If you do it the right time

and in the right way, it can build a powerful and deep emotional bond between you and your child

that facilitates other kinds of communication and trust.

• It is important to have your main discussion (and your pre- and follow-up discussion) early enough

that they form your child's initial attitudes toward sex and serve as a deflector of all the "silliness,"

"dirtiness," and nonsense that children hear from friends, peers, and media. But having it too early

raises issues that kids aren't ready for.

• We do need to protect our children, but it is an awareness of the beautiful power and positive

commitment in the right kind of sex that gives children the best motivation and capacity to avoid

​what could hurt them and others.

• It is very common for parents to wish their children would wait for real commitment (because of

physical safety, emotional safety, moral beliefs, hopes of a better marriage - and a host of other

reasons). Most parents' views are surprisingly conservative when it comes to what they wish for

and think is best for their children. And it is not hypocritical to teach something you have not always lived, especially if you truly feel it is what is best for today. Good parenting means wanting something better for one's children.

 

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